27 January 2010

mommy monster???

A matter of discipline

There are ways to get things done without screaming at your child.

HAVE you ever screamed at your child for misbehaving and later regret doing so? Many of us admit to such folly. The problem with screaming and shouting is that it makes the situation worse.

Children do not react positively to their parents’ shouting. They are the world’s greatest copycats. They would shout and scream back to get their way the moment they get a chance.

It is important to unlearn all the parenting lessons that promote full dominion over children. To do it right, you have to be that person you want your child to be. You do not want your children to act out your worst behaviour but to adopt your best behaviour.

Some families practise using “indoor” and “outdoor” voices. Parents would speak to their children as calmly as possible, no matter what the situation.

Children understand clearly that they can shout and scream outdoors because the high volume will not disturb others.

You may find it difficult to stay calm with your children at all times. Here are alternatives to screaming and shouting at them:


It is hard for many parents to keep their cool when it comes to getting active children to bed every night. With all that whining and fighting with siblings, it is easy for parents to yell at their children before packing them off to bed.

Many experts have suggested that setting a routine that is manageable and enjoyable for children can make bedtime a quiet and peaceful affair. Read your child’s favourite book together or cuddle up for some quiet time.

Start bedtime half an hour earlier so that children can prepare for it without the need to ask: “Can I have 10 minutes more to finish watching this show?” You can calmly say to your child: “You have half an hour to finish this show and then it’s off to bed.”

Waking up

Wake-up time is a noisy affair in my household. My two girls are always asking for more time in bed. To make it less intense, our wake-up call usually allows for that extra time they always ask for.

Like getting children to bed, waking up has to be pleasant, something children can look forward to.

Many families have a brief family moment before starting the day. You can say a prayer or read aloud a book for less than 10 minutes. Children can also get excited over small amounts of nutritious food for breakfast instead of making them eat large servings of food they dread seeing.

Remember, the more relaxed you feel, the happier your child will be. She will wake up and get ready for the day without much fuss.

Bath time

Getting school-age children to take their baths after school often results in a shouting match between parent and child.

Children come home from school tired and stressed out. They find it difficult to unwind, just like how their parents feel after a hard day’s work. Feeling irritable, children will pick a fight over the smallest issue.

Try doing something fun together to unwind for a few short moments. When your child gets a chance to talk about her day, you may want to suggest that she can make herself feel a lot better by washing worries away.

Homework time

This is really tough on many parents, especially the ones with primary schoolchildren. The overwhelming load of homework is off-putting to any young child. So instead of screaming at your child to do his homework, you may want to help him organise a little.

Accept that your child needs your help until he can do things independently. Rather than waste your energy on yelling at him to make him do his homework, spend time finding ways to make homework bearable.

Encourage him with positive words like, “You are working hard” or “I like the way you pay attention to your homework.”

They won’t listen to me

Children will take some time before they actually know what you really want of them. Be patient. Your yelling will not yield much cooperation anyway. They need time to adjust and change their ways.

Try treating them with respect and kind words. Your children are more likely to respond better to you when you treat them fairly. They know you are patient when you control your own behaviour. Just as you accept them, they will accept your ways to please you.

It is true that parents make mistakes when it comes to managing children’s behaviour. Rather than feeling guilty, turn it into a learning opportunity.

If you are at fault, apologise and show how you admit your mistake. Your children will learn better from your example. They may want to try that honest way of correcting their mistakes.

satu artikel yg menarik aku jumpa...sangat terkesan kat aku..sbb aku makin mjadi2 plak mjerit2 akhir2 nih...:sweaty::sweaty:..aku tau..bukan lah contoh yang baik tjerit2 dgn anak..urmm..senang nk cakp..tapi nak buat tu payah...
now my gegirl dah pandai bgaduh,,rebut mainan..tak termasuk lg sepah2 barang..ala budak2..camtu la...kena byk cool down..ayat nak sedap kan ati...tapi hari2 hadap benda yg sama,dtg gak histeria aku..huhuu...ckp sekali dua xdgr..ckp lembut2 xjln..habis nak buat camne lg..pressure tul!!!...
bila mjerit paham pulak tu...malu gak dgn jenjiran bila diorg dgr suara emas aku ni..anak sorang dulu xdgr pun sore..dah berdua agaknye satu taman leh dgr kut... sedihsedihsedih...
bagi aku biar lah aku mjerit dari memukul my girl kan..bia lah my girl sakit telinga dari sakit badan kan..sengihnampakgigisengihnampakgigisengihnampakgigi..n biar lah my neber sakit telinga dari aku sakit hati kan..sengihnampakgigisengihnampakgigisengihnampakgigi...mjerit is way for me to destress..hahaha!!!...
bila aku dah normal tu..rasa menyesal pun ada,,cian anak2..aku dlm proses la ni nk kntrl tabiat buruk ni...sbb sometimes my girl yell at me back!!!..waa..cepat tul dia aplikasikan sifat buruk aku..:sweaty::sweaty::sweaty:...
aku salute tul kat mak2 yg xpenah jerit kat anak tu..doa kan la aku leh jadi cenggitu..n pada mak2 se spesis aku...nak jerit pun beragak2 la ye..jgn lah mjerit aje 24jam..maluuuu wehhhh!!!!...

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